It’s not easy for me to write about my spiritual awakening. I have ‘ummed’ and ‘arred’ and talked myself out of it so many times.
It’s not easy for me to tell my story…
not because it’s painful any more because it’s not. In fact, I don’t know why I find it hard, I think it’s because I don’t like talking about myself. You know what it’s like, you’re in a meeting and someone asks you to introduce yourself and you go all tongue tied and spend what seems like forever planning what to say before they get to you.
But, I know that sharing your story may help someone and if I only reach out to one person who needs to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and you can change your life then it’s worth it. It’s kind of like wishing I could go back to my past self and tell her how far I have come.
When we see others having gone through hard times
who have come out the other side, living life to the full, living life in great joy, it gives us hope doesn’t it? It helps us realise that we too, can change our lives no matter how hard it seems. So here goes…
Twelve and a half years ago, after suffering 18 years of physical, mental and sexual abuse, I finally plucked up the courage to split up with my husband. Suddenly I felt completely lost. I had spent years covering it up from everyone and bottling it up myself and not really dealing with it. Now I was facing what I had been through head on and it affected me very badly. By day I had a happy cheery face at work, by night I suffered from severe depression and anxiety and, as I ate very little, I lost 2.5 stone in weight (35 lb).
I really needed someone to talk to
someone to tell me things were going to get better, that I would feel better and would enjoy life again.
I found myself spending a fortune on ringing psychic lines, desperate to get some answers.
Finally, through recommendation from a friend, I found a psychic and a medium and booked readings with them both. They knew so much about my traumatic past in my readings, things that I hadn’t told anyone, and I was blown away!
I suddenly didn’t feel so alone
as I knew my loved ones were watching over me. However, I couldn’t understand why I was being drawn to psychics and mediums as I’d never been interested before. Little did I know but I had had a spiritual awakening.
I managed to pull myself together after that and, with the help of self help books and a copy of the secret DVD that a very dear friend bought me for my birthday, I started to feel better and enjoy life again.
I listened to the Secret on CD constantly in my car. I was heavily in debt and felt lost and alone as most of my friends I’d socialised with were joint friends with my ex or busy with their partners and families. I was determined to change my life for the better and start a new life but everything had changed.
It worked as just a few short months later I met some new friends and then I met my soul mate. It was just before Christmas in 2007 and as soon as I met him I knew he had been sent from heaven. It was as though we had known each other for years.
I had finally manifested the man of my dreams
With the help of the Secret and the law of attraction I had finally manifested the man of my dreams.
I remember he told me the night that we met that he was going to marry me and I had to pinch myself as I really did feel like I was dreaming.
We just seemed to click. I could talk to him for hours and totally be myself without fear of being judged. In a way it was almost as if I had met the male version of me.
Not only that he believed in spirit just as I did. In fact, he told me stories of seeing spirit since he was little and being so scared he hid under the covers. I was fascinated and we were both curious about learning more.
We did a Spiritual Course together
One day I saw a spiritual awareness course online and after a mixture of excitement and fear and a brief conversation with him we booked on the course.
It was great doing the course together but there everyone seemed so much more advanced than me and it was supposed to be for beginners.
Most of our time was spent meditating and I just couldn’t seem to do it. I sat there feeling really frustrated that I couldn’t sink into deep meditation and the more frustrated I got the less relaxed I was.
Jason and I sat in the car eating our lunch and I just cried. Seems silly I know but I’d wanted to do this so much. And, as great emphasis was put on being able to meditate to connect to spirit, I felt I was struggling.
I did pass the course and I did learn a lot but I didn’t feel very confident and it was about 5 years before I decided to embark on anything else.
Reiki helped me gain a Closer Spiritual Connection
That something else was Reiki and I’ve not looked back since. I cannot tell you how much Reiki has helped me open up to spirit and I wanted to help others so much that I developed my own online spiritual development courses.
I do know how frustrating it can be when you really want to learn to connect to spirit and don’t where to start.
If you would like to know how Reiki works, read my BLOG on the link below.
Love & Blessings always